My Birthday (June 21)

This didn't come as a shock, neither a surprise. But today, June 21, 2012, is my 17th birthday. So, wow, am I getting old? Well, not that old. But you get it. As if people aren't hearing it enough on Facebook. I just came back from UNO, and sadly enough, I was on the verge of tears, not because I was happy. It was because I wasn't happy. I kept hearing it in my mind, "I'm not happy, I'm not happy, I'm not happy." I kept believing that I was not happy on my freaking birthday, I ended up being a bit depressed. I wanted to be happy, really bad. I just couldn't find anything good. I mean, during my class, some people did remember, like my professor who got the class to sing "Happy Birthday" to me. And I thought that was nice and kind of funny. But barely made me happy. When I went home, I kept explaining to my mom, that I was so depressed on my own birthday,. She believes that it's because I'm just getting older and I just don't care anymore, unlike when I was younger. So now, I see it. I'm still trying to get used to that, and see the brighter side of my birthday from now on. So whenever I'm feeling sad and filled with depression, I just gotta keep thinking, there's always going to be someone to say, "Happy Birthday" on that day.

Here's something else to say: I also have no idea what I even want for my birthday. That's another thing I explained. I'm kinda getting over materialistic items. Except these are the following things I really do want:
1. The Sims 3 Pets for Xbox 360
2. A Car (A really good one like the 2013 Kia Sorento)
3. A laptop (a small one)
4. my permit, then my license
5. A whole gallon of Roberts chocolate milk :)
6. chocolate chip pancakes from Ihop

My Little Leo

Here's a tribute for my puppy, Leo. August 2, 2010: some time around 2 pm.
                                                                                                                           
The day that we got Leo was the most happiest moment of my life. Other than my quinceanera I had celebrated that July 2 & 3, we unexpectedly went to Tully's Kennel. Me, Chucho, Jonathan, and my mom and my abuelita were earlier school shopping for the week of school that was next week. And then all of the sudden, we were trying to find the way to get to Tully's Kennel. I was so shocked and excited that me and my brothers would be getting our first dog! As soon as we got in the entrance, which had a moderate size where the shelves were packed with dog foods and supplies. And there were also dog toys everywhere, even next to the register. We went in asking to look at the dogs, and they took us over to another building where there were cages outside for bigger dogs (and cheaper). And when we went in, it was SO awesome and so many adorable puppies in cages (which I thought was cruel for small puppies). So me and my brothers and my mom and abuelita started looking around all the puppies' cages and they all were so happy to see humans, waiting for their chance to finally to go home and be with a family. Then my mom got her chance to pick out the first puppy. He was a small, white, male, fluffy Lhasa Apso/Cocker Spaniel mix. But I saw another puppy, it was a small black and brown Chihuahua mix, also male. So the staff pulled out both puppies and we went into another area so that we could interact with the dogs. It was so cute looking at those two just play and fighting for a chew toy. But in the end of it all, we got the white puppy and quickly started thinking of names. Immediately, Jonathan came up with the name for him, "Chico" after our friend Chico, whose real name is Francisco. Once we were out of that building and into the one we went in earlier, they took Chico from me to give him his first bath (I think). Once my mom filled out the paperwork and Chico was out, we got him many things, like his first bed, first toys, first water and food bowls, and his very first blanket. After that, we finally went back home to keep the puppy. But once we got home and put Chico on the floor, he was shy and scared, never understood what he gotten himself into. But he got used to the surroundings and tried new things. After one week, my parents were thinking of changing the name. They obviously didn't like it so we once again kept thinking of more names. And Jonathan out with it again, brought the new name, "Leo". It clicked with the thought of the puppy and it just stayed with him. And now Leo is happy, still scared of many things when he first came, but loves us all like we're his family. Many times in my mind, I still miss that other puppy he played with and as well his brother and sister that Leo will never see again. But he has us now and we always play with him and just shower him with love. Leo sees us as just weird and looks at my step-dad Cupe as the Alpha male and always just sits and wags his tail whenever Cupe wants Leo to come up to just have fun with him and is also really scared to approach him. So, please let me end with this: I currently have over 100 photos of Leo on my phone, my other phone I don't use anymore, and in both of my camera's memory cards. I have loved Leo because he helped me get over my fear of dogs because they would sometimes scare me, but not anymore. Now I can go up to any dog and just love them as much as I love Leo. I can't say much for my brothers cause they love Leo more or less than me. Even some of my family members like Leo, except when he barks at them, but not just cause they're mean people, just cause he is excited to meet them. I want to give love and thanks to Leo, though he will never read this long tribute made for him.

I love my little Leo.

Here is an old video of Leo, the day that we got him from Tully's.

P.S. Leo just turned two on May 23.

Family Time Is the Best Kind of Time

Hmmmmm...
I don't know how to start this, I mean talking about my family. That's something personal and who's going to know unless they ask? But it means they care and they might want to listen. Thing is, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has problems with their family. No one is perfect and there is no perfect family so that people can be jealous of them. Unless you got low self-esteem. Besides that, I think being with your family can mean doing any adventure that's worth the boring conversations you have at dinner. I love my family, but I try to hard to keep them close with one another. My mom thinks that I shouldn't have do that or it could bother them. I can't help it, I want everyone to be a part of each other, but even I know that's wrong. Not everyone likes the other. Even I don't like some of my family members. I won't say who, but they live in West Omaha. And not related to me. Just so you know, I'm really pushy sometimes with my own family and maybe even with family friends. Don't ask why because I have no answers. Remember this: You are nothing without your family at your back, defending you and keeping you safe.

College Possible

Last year, I received a note from the counselors' office showing a notification for me from College Possible. And the first thing I quickly noticed, was that the program helped many low-income families. At first, I felt offended and thinking, "Why did they give me this? How did they know I was from a low-income family?" There was going to be a meeting for it during my lunch, so of course I went and the coaches were very nice and helped many students with information for this program. I soon realized that if I joined I could be the first in my family to go to college. Unlike my family, I wasn't the first, a cousin beat me there. But it means that I could make my family proud, especially my mother, and show that I can possibly make it and graduate with a college degree. When that ended, I got received more news weeks after, informing me that I got in the program. At first, I was ecstatic and filled with joy that I can more after school. I also remembered from that meeting, Katie on first day of the program, she was our coach and I felt happy because she was so nice and seemed interested in us. She helped us with skills for the ACT test and also gave us information for summer opportunities. And if it wasn't for her showing me Summer Scholars, I'd probably be at home doing nothing. Once we finished the ACT, we kept working on resumes and many other stuff. At the end of year, we learned from her that she wasn't going to stay and was going back home to Minnesota. Instantly, I felt upset and depressed she wasn't going to be our coach for our senior year. But I accepted it and it would mean a lot for her that she does go back home to see her family. I know I would as well. Once my senior year starts, it means working on college applications and scholarships. And all without Katie. So thanks for a great junior year in College Possible :)

Facebook?

Seriously, Facebook. Are you trying to poison our brains or do you really help us at all? Lately I've become too used to checking my Facebook for notifications or messages. What happened to us? Before it was ALL about MySpace. Now that's gone and Justin Timberlake wanted to bring it back. Too late for that, its' freakin dead and in the dirt. But now we as a society fell for more weird crap that keeps involving some kind of social or political issue. Can't we do better?! Apparently not. But the upside is that humans are moving from the past to a brighter future. Likely a chance that we become smarter than ever. I'm not sure how that will happen, but it might. Anyway, all I can say is Facebook and all other social networking sites are everywhere and some of us will fall victim of all this!

p.s. it's not our faults.

Reasons for College

1. Better Life
2. Better Future
3. Better Jobs
4. Better something....

It's things like this that are really annoying and makes me think too hard about my own life. Whose to say I will make it to college? I really don't care what happens as along it makes my mom happy. Everyone in my family is expected to do great things to help within the family. So pretty much go to college, pick the right career, and get a job fast with good pay. I never signed up for this and now I'm being forced to do what is right. Yeah, that just sucks. I mean, college is ok. But for 4 years of my life could be taken away from just to learn more things. And of course, it's really expensive every college credit hour. Let me tell you this, isn't my decision to see how my life will turn out or does fate decide for me? Or should I say my mother? Well, I guess we'll have to see next fall when I do have to go to college.

"Oh Mother"

This song by Christina Aguilera is a heartbreaking song

that was inspired by her mother's past

and shook her life.

Thing is, it shook mine and my own mother as well.

The powerful words and melody overcame my emotions

and made me overwhelmed with tears and aggravation.

But when I told my mom to listen

same thing happened to her:

She cried when I called her.

Every word was just like hers as well.

The painful past was put into words.

I kinda wish I never showed her that song,

 so I wouldn't have to hear her saddening weeps.

But it made us talk more about her mistakes and

how she looked back from it.

Now happily in a relationship with three children.

Mom, I want to say how much I love you♥